Speaking of the End

Tillamook Forest Center 
for samara!

 Sprawling back atop a large, flattish rock, Ezra surrendered to his harsh, grim reality: at that moment, he was hitting a low point in life. Like, scraping-across-the-sea-floor sort of low point. Dehydration and hypoglycemia, without a doubt, were most certainly taking over. It was incredible what one's body, when forced to run on the faintest of fumes, could forcibly accept. Never did he expect to find a boulder so comfortable.

 He should've packed more granola bars. If he wasn't so sure devouring the brownie edible at the bottom of his backpack would be a death sentence considering its disorienting consequences, he'd shove it in his mouth for the carbohydrates alone.

 Flopping an arm over his closed eyes, Ezra groaned. He'd always considered himself a fan of a good, solid hike: in LA, where hiking for most people constituted moderate-to-long walks on wide, paved paths. Sanded, maybe, if one wanted to really push it. See, the hiking he knew wasn't hiking like this; it wasn't whacking through thick brush, scrambling over dense rocky outcroppings, crossing fallen tree trunks, and risking his life every goddamn step of the way. The sooner he was out of the woods and back into civilization, the better. He missed cement.

 That being said, he supposed it was time to get moving.

 Looking up, Ezra glanced about for the next marker. Which he could've sworn was…

 Ah, shit.

Sam hadn't expected the night to turn out like it had. It hadn't been the full moon, but her cat had itched to get out into its fur and into the wilderness all the same. It seemed an unwise sort of thing to deny the beast when she was being so terribly insistent, so she had come here and stashed a backpack and been on her way. Only, she hadn't expected her beast to wander just how far it had, and somewhere along the way back maybe she had gotten a little turned around so here she was, naked both due to the fact that she had no damn clothes as well as the lack of color staining her now brown hair, piercings closed and feeling very much not like herself due to the circumstances.

Sighing, she trudged on, careful to step over the rocks and roots carefully with bare feet. Not even nail polish could last the shift. Ugh. She felt so bland. How did people go through life like this all the time and why oh why would she have to go and dye her hair again just for one stinkin night out in the woods?

It was somewhere lost in thought that she stumbled upon the man on the boulder, blinking and watching him for a long moment before making her approach, completely forgetting the lack of anything that she was wearing. "Hey, are you lost or somethin?"

 Though he didn’t have much of an internal compass, Ezra had something better: modern technology. Whipping out his cell phone, he waved it around above his head, eyes plastered to those decidedly empty little bars. No signal. Christ. No signal. How far into the woods was he? How middle-of-fucking-nowhere had he wandered?

 "Archaic, godforsaken city," he hissed, clambering to his feet. Wobbling tiptoe on the tallest section of the boulder, Ezra stretched his phone towards the sky. Nothing. Nothing but the cracking of sticks and crunching of dry leaves from behind.

 "Hey, d’you—"

 Twisting around, Ezra expected to find his savior. Instead, he was greeted by the gleaming sight of two, free-swinging breasts catching up on some sweet Vitamin D. Or, in this case, could it technically be considered vitamin double-D?

 "Ah, hi there. I feel like I should be asking you that, honey."

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